Monday, February 20, 2006

Damned Machine!

I'm sitting at work tonight working on an ad that's running in some Chinese trade publication when I suddenly get the urge to go get a snack from the vending machine downstairs. Mind you, it's seven 'o friggin clock, and I'm sitting at work. There are only so many times that I can IM someone halfway on the other side of the planet and think, "Wow! Isn't cool that I can communicate so conveniently with someone so far away. I wonder if it really is the person I'm supposed to be talking too. Oh, wait! Rude. Obnoxious. Yes, that must be my boss :-)"

BTW, China doesn't exactly have the best internet infrastructure. So, while my Art Director and I are sitting there waiting for the hi-res PDF to send over, I figure I'll go do the vending machine thing. I slide in the bill and get some wholesome Mother's Cookies. Honestly, if my mom made this crap, I don't think I'd ever want to eat sweets again.

Anyway, I start eyeballing the pistachios. Let's just say that I'm a HUGE pistachio fan. I could very easily eat the half ton of pistachios necessary to poison me! I drop another couple coins in the machine and press the buttons for the pistachios. The metal thing starts to turn and the pistachios are just about to drop... But wait! NO! Damn bag gets trapped on the edge of the metal. SHAKE, BANG, CURSING! Nothing. Oh, well, I'll go get another 65 friggin cents to get another bag. After all, I love pistachios.

I go back upstairs and a coworker gives me 65 cents to get the second bag. I gleefully bounce downstairs to get not one, but TWO bags of pistachios. I place the money inside the machine. The first bag drops. Here comes the second bag... Can you guess what happened next?

Damned Machine!!!

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