Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Transforming live itself

Original blog from my myspace
I honestly believe that there are moments that shape our lives, defining moments you can say. In these moments, we feel a profound shift in our own reality and because of our connection with the world around us, the world (Life) itself begins to transform. For some this shift may be something we are so disconnected from that it occurs to us that life has just happened around us. For others, we are so connected with our universe that we get that we are a cause in the matter of events that take place in this world.

To stand in front of person after person tonight, each facing their own insurmountable circumstances, and generate with them a life that is undeniably real and unrecognizable to them is surreal. To experience the shift in their being when they get that anything they want for their life is possible is unlike any experience in life. It is almost like witnessing birth. And to have love and affinity for a complete stranger simply because they are a human being is the greatest sense of being alive.

I got to experience one of the most extraordinary women in the world this evening. Her past had her as a very successful businesswoman who was recently stricken with fibromyalgia. She lost her job, wealth, and her body has deteriorated rapidly. But her spirit is brighter than the most radiant star. The genesis of her life was this evening. It was the most profound experience to be present while she generated a life filled with possibility as opposed to pain and despair.

It was particularly meaningful for me because I dated a woman for 3 1/2 years who suffered from some sort of unknown ailment with similar symptoms to fibromyalgia. In that relationship, I was an unloving, uncaring, and insensitive prick. Up until this evening, I could only imagine what life must have been like for my ex-girlfriend given my despicably behavior. Tonight I got clear on what it is to be a support for someone who is deeply suffering physically. And in that moment, I also got present to when the exact opposite is present, which is what I provided for my ex-girlfriend. It is amazing what the woman tonight is generating for herself and her life.

And so life has transformed. Not just for this woman tonight, and not just for me. Rather, life has transformed for everyone that each of us touches and inspires. Life has transformed because we are all cause in the matter. I love the assisting I do at Landmark Education, and I love the work the organization is a stand for. We truly can have anything we want for ourselves or our lives.

Friday, July 07, 2006

People in our life

A friend of mine sent this to me via email on Wednesday. It couldn't have come at a better time as it really put things into perspective for me at an opportune time. Of course, the friend who sent it is one of my lifetime friends :-D Enjoy...

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When
you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real.
But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

I screwed up again

Original blog on my myspace

I have a knack for doing stupid things

I am gifted when it comes to hurting others

Not gifted as though I belong in a higher level of education

Rather gifted as though I belong on a short yellow bus

For instance, there have been some incredible women in my life

Not just in romance, but friendship as well

Most recently I was blessed with an extraordinary woman

Someone who was open, vulnerable, caring, compassionate, understanding, graceful...

Aw, hell the list of compliments could fill up 10-15 pages

She was much like todays (7/5/6) word of the day: apotheosis

Not the deification or exalted part of the definition

But certainly the definition along the lines of being a model of excellence of a kind

I dont want it to come across as though she was a Barbie doll

It wasnt like that one bit, not at all

In fact, thats what made her so gawd damn awesome!

And what do I do as our relationship is starting to blossom?

(yes, I had to throw in at least one rhyming bit)

Yep, thats right, I f*cked it up right from the get go

When someone opens up and makes herself vulnerable

Would I appreciate her giving nature and not take her for granted?

Would I cherish her and treat her with honor and respect?

Of course not!

Instead, I chose to be a selfish jackass

And I must admit that that is an understatement

And why would I make such a choice?

Cuz Im a dumbass, is pretty much what Ive come up with

Ill get scared in a relationship

And Ill lose sight of who I say I am committed to being in life

Then end up causing someone else pain because of my cowardliness and negligence

Im so worried about any judgment that someone else might pass on me

So worried that I cant even be myself

And in doing so, I rob people of having a true experience of me

Even though (especially with this woman) they are not judgmental at all

Its like Im so ashamed of how Ive f*cked up in the past

That I just cant be straight with myself and others

And it always gets me to the same point

I just keep f*cking things up so I can continue to feel ashamed of being an ass

So, its time to ameliorate my life in the area of relationships

As a side note, ameliorate was the word of the day on July 16, 1999

Im not quite sure exactly what its going to take

But like everything else in life, Ive got connections

Some people have connections for whacking people

Others have political connections

Still others have business connections

Me? Well, Ive got connections for helping people

And it happens to be time to put some of those connections to good use on myself

After all Im not interested in causing a mess of my relationships anymore

Im not interested in hurting people that I think are dignified and deserving of my respect

So, Ill be taking a very cool journey of discovery

If you made it to this part and you are confused

I must admit that I am impressed that you made it this far

This was really just for one person and you know who you are

And I'm sorry for taking your trust and making it bruised