Wednesday, November 15, 2006

New Kind of Love Discovered

Los Angeles, CA - Scientists researching the human brain at UCLA discovered that the human mind is capable of generating an entirely new kind of love previously unknown to mankind. Researchers are calling this new type of love, Love Amplified. "It is where I love you more than you love me and you love me more than I love you," Dr. Smith mentioned during a press conference on Monday.

This new possibility of love has sparked a debate as to whether there is ever an end to whether one can love another more than the other loves them when the two individuals are in Love Amplified. "It is simply not possible for you to love me more than I love you and for me to love you more than you love me into infinity," Dr. Heshsloth stated during an address to the World Association of Sloth & Resignation.

Meanwhile, researchers are UCLA continue to address the issue of Love Amplified to Infinity. "Essentially, the universe is continuously expanding. Therefore, you must continue to generate love at a rate equal to the expansion of the universe just to keep your love from becoming smaller, relative to the rest of the universe," Dr. Smith explained in a detailed research finding released on Wednesday morning. To be in Love Amplified, Dr. Smith explained that we "must expand our love such that it causes love to expand for others" in such a way that our love expands at a faster rate than the universe is expanding.

"This is further complicated by the debate as to whether the expansion of the universe is accelerating or decelerating. If the expansion of the universe is accelerating, then our love must not just expand at the rate of the universe. Our love must expand at a rate greater than that which our universe is expanding," Smith said in his closing statements on Monday. I love you all were his final words in the memo. So, in the spirit of Love Amplified, I love you all.

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